Allison's Archives

“Don’t rob yourself of experiences because they might hurt too much when you lose them. Today, do dark red and long naps; don’t do sarcasm and sharp nails.” 

This was the advice my horoscope app bestowed upon me at the beginning of April—an app that claims to “decipher the mystery of human relations through NASA data and biting truth.” I am nothing if not sensible, which is why I take any astrology-based advice with a bowling ball-sized salt. However, there are days when the advice is exactly what I need to hear, and those are the days that I proceed to throw caution to the wind. 

I used to subscribe to the opinion that believers of astrology are those who refuse to shoulder responsibility for their actions and lack a sense of purpose in life since they blame everything on the movements of planets and look towards the stars for guidance on next steps. Harsh? Yes. Unfortunately, I spoke too soon and made a hypocrite of myself as I slowly but surely cultivated the habit of scurrying to the end pages of magazines to check the weekly prediction for Libras. 

My year kicked off with a rocky start where I was lost in every aspect of life, scratching at walls to redeem my sense of self. This period coincided with an influx of astrology videos appearing on my social media feed, each either explaining the movement of the stars and how my house will be affected or shuffling tarot cards to predict my financial, romantic, and emotional status for the month ahead. Not understanding how my life descended downhill so gauchely and having been failed by rhyme and reason, I began to entertain the stars and spare some belief. 

As anticipated, these videos were not accurate to the T and were, more often than not, surface-level predictions palatable to the general audience. I may have my brief moments of delusion now and then, but I am not foolish enough to buy into the “If you’re seeing this video, then it is meant for you because there are no hashtags…” shtick. Still, the fact remained that it put me at ease to believe that the bad things that had befallen me were merely a byproduct of the stars’ and planets’ trajectories rather than me deserving them. 

When I say that March went brilliantly, I mean that it was one of the best months in my existence to date. Yet, the next month rolled around and made me out to be a poorly executed punchline of an April fool’s joke. I kept second-guessing my post-graduation plans which set me down a spiral, the end of Easter break and hastened approach of deadlines reinstated my imposter syndrome, and—as is a necessary ingredient of every Allison miniature breakdown episode—you could say I was ungracefully kicking my legs to stay afloat in the relationships department. 

On April Fool’s Day, Mercury went into retrograde, and we also found ourselves amid eclipse season. I find it difficult to believe I have just published that sentence on my blog, but let’s unpack it in a crash-course manner.

mercury is in retrograde… again

It seems like every other fortnight, Mercury goes into retrograde and everyone’s life crumbles like a house of cards. Accurately, Mercury goes into retrograde three to four times a year, with each period lasting about three weeks. This astrological phenomenon is where the planet appears to be moving backward in its orbit from our vantage point, attributed to the difference in speed between Earth and Mercury. Realistically, Mercury isn’t actually reversing its path; it’s all a matter of perspective. Yet, for astrology enthusiasts, this period is seen as a time of reflection and reassessment, particularly regarding communication and decision-making, rather than initiating new undertakings or making major commitments.

This retrograde is currently forming a conjunction with Venus in Aries (no, I will not even attempt to explain this in layman’s terms). What we need to concern ourselves with is the fact that Venus, the planet of love, often dictates what we want and our pleasures. Putting two and two together, this is a period of introspection that may cause us to reminisce about things, events, or people we think we want. However, whether what we want is beneficial in the long run is up to our discretionary judgment. 

As if that isn’t enough, the retrograde also aligns with the asteroid Chiron. Deriving its namesake after the Greek centaur, Chiron symbolizes the wounded healer, positing that struggle or pain can also be sources of wisdom, compassion, and healing for ourselves and others. This alignment means that many of our past traumas might surface to the forefront of our minds, but just because we are looking back at and trying to heal from our past doesn’t mean we should revert to it. 

Mercury retrogrades might have a bad reputation for being a turbulent period, but perhaps they are blessings in disguise. After all, it’s only through hashing out and directly confronting our past that we can move on to bigger, brighter, and better things. Perhaps this phenomenon shouldn’t be described as chaotic. Perhaps it is cathartic. 

eclipse season, baby!

Simply put, eclipse season signifies periods of intensified cosmic energy, resulting in major changes in personal and collective consciousness. During an eclipse, the light will be snuffed out of certain parts of the world, plunging these select regions into darkness. This darkness, when read between the lines, calls for us to have trust and move forward even when the path ahead is obstructed. I have never witnessed an eclipse, but I think I’d be more concerned with not frying my retinas off than giving the darkness an IGCSE Literature interpretation. 

Astrologists believe that the veil between conscious and unconscious realms thins during this season, heightening our awareness to identify patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that may be holding us back. Once we emerge from the eclipse season with brand new observations, we can embrace them, make the according changes, and be more in tune with ourselves. 

The bottom line? Nobody emerges out of eclipse season unchanged. 

all this for a libra?

Back to the astrology videos that appear on my feed more than I care to admit. I have saved a dozen of such videos and compiled their main points regarding this season only to find the following cautions:

• You will experience emotional purges and might feel extremely upset and lonely. (Already experiencing this on a weekly basis.)

• Figure out how to assert your boundaries and communicate truthfully. (Fine. I’ve been told to work on this for a while now and I have been working on it.)
• You will grapple with the wrath of the past. (Don’t I every day!)
• There will be a massive death and rebirth process for your horoscope, pushing you to reinvent yourself completely. (Sounds like a lot of work, but sure.)
• All this is to propel you towards future greatness, like the cocking of a catapult before you let loose and soar. (I really like the sound of this.)
• Tensions will arise, but you need to resolve these challenges to maintain more fulfilling relations in the future. (More confrontation, but sure, I guess.)
• You may decide to reconcile with an ex, make changes to a current relationship, or date someone new. (Excuse me, what?)

That last point did it for me. Sent me over the edge. I might as well be breaking my ankle all over again. 

It doesn’t matter how much truth there is to horoscope predictions and astrology readings; it matters how much one chooses to believe in them. When it comes to such topics, my belief is fairly selective and can even be classified as confirmation bias when hindsight is involved. When it comes to future predictions, however, I can’t help but wonder how much of it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, like increased cravings for candy that you were told not to have as a child. Am I taking my creative pursuits more seriously because I have renewed focus for them or because the cards say I will succeed in them? Am I reaching out to someone from my past because I genuinely care about them or because some TikTok creator warned me about a possible reconciliation? Am I allowing my life to fall into shambles and shrugging off responsibility just because some stranger on my phone gave me a free pass in light of the retrograde?

Astrology, when you brush off all the fluff and pomp, is a valuable tool for self-reflection and personal growth as it provides a framework for us to understand ourselves and our place within the cosmos. In the grand scheme of things, it is comforting to know that we can be connected to nature and bodies that escape the naked eye. More often than not, I uncover aspects about myself through reading horoscopes on the back of magazines that would have never otherwise crossed my mind. It is such a shame, then, when we realize that the way astrology is presented on social media platforms sometimes tiptoes into fear-mongering or engagement-amassing territory. 

A primary driver for why astrology is presented in this manner is the algorithmic nature of these platforms. TikTok and Instagram are designed to prioritize content that generates high levels of user engagement, the most common forms being likes, comments, and shares. Two forms of content are likely to yield high interaction: the kind that aligns with what people want to hear and the exact opposite. An example of the former would be predictions of fruitful relationships, successful careers, and a sudden influx of wealth, though the caveat is that these sorts of content often ask audiences to interact in some way to ‘claim’ the positive foretellings. The latter manifests in fear-mongering, which usually triggers strong emotional reactions in viewers and results in the content performing well. Creators who lean into the latter may capitalize on this by playing into people’s fears and anxieties, promising dire predictions or warnings about future events. 

Furthermore, the format of social media favors quick, bite-sized content that emphasizes entertainment value over depth or accuracy of the information conveyed. Creators benefit heavily by bombarding their videos or posts with shocking information that might be exaggerated for sensationalism. Viewers may then be drawn in by the excitement of the predictions without considering the nuances or complexities behind the scenes, translating to a superficial understanding of the subject, reinforcing binary thinking and fatalistic beliefs about the influence of celestial bodies. 

It is an insurmountable task to predict how each viewer might react to similar videos in this vein. If told that the eclipse season retrograde will put a one-eighty spin on their life, would a viewer take it as a positive or negative sign? Would they put in the effort to welcome that change or would they steer away from it? Would they put in any effort or leave things up to fate? If the result contradicts their intentions, would they blame themselves or look towards the sky and mutter a silent but deadly curse?

The truth is that any of you reading this right now have been through eclipse seasons and Mercury retrogrades in the past perfectly fine, and this time shouldn’t be any different. I write this now blessed with hindsight; we are halfway through April, a month I thought would be horror-filled, and everything is indeed okay. In fact, life is more than okay. I have been having the absolute best time in a city I adore as spring, well, springs into action. Despite some personal Sisyphean boulders, I’m making the most out of my last semester at university, seeing the city at night with people for whom I am grateful, and writing pieces I enjoy. What more can I possibly ask for? If this is how the intersections of Mercury retrogrades and eclipse seasons are, please, by all means, sign me up for more!

I have longed so awfully for certainty and for things to stay the same, for the scales of Libra to remain unmoving, that I let myself forget the act of balancing scales is to give and take on both plates as needed. Nothing in nature is stagnant, so why should I be any special? The bad days come and they go just as seasons bloom and wilt. You don’t hate the sky when it rains, you just wait for it to pass. You see the clouds rolling over, but you bask in the fleeting warmth of the sun anyway. 

We are still in the thick of the retrograde, and I will allow myself the grace of blaming some harmless mishaps on the cosmic phenomenon. At the end of the day, however, I like the sound of being in charge of my life more than having my destiny written by the stars. After all, if somebody has to be doing the writing, it might as well be me.